How to Be a Fat Man, Dress Well, and Not Look Dumpy-Part 6 of 6

Illustrations by Brian Parra

This is the sixth of a six part article about factual fashion advice for fat guys.  Read Part 12, 3, 4, and 5.

GLOSSARY
Know what you are talking about the next time you head to the store!
 
TERMS D'ART
Big-Generally refers to large-sized clothes, sizes XL-6XL+, but is also used to specifically indicate clothes like shirts cut with extra room or girth around the torso. "B" is commonly used in the size designation to denote a big cut, thus a 2XB is a 2XL shirt cut with extra girth around the torso.
Big & Tall-A category of clothing, usually used to reference men's clothing (the women's equivalent is often called, "Plus Size") that generally spans regular sizes XL-6XL+, big sizes XLB-6XB+, and tall sizes MT-6XT+. Big & Tall retail locations usually also carry portly, short and extra-long suits, extra-long ties, large shoes, extra long belts, undergarments, lifestyle accessories and orthopedic items for large and tall men.
Tall-Clothing cut for tall men, 6'+, sizes MT to 6XT+,- typically with longer sleeves, torso and tails, lower pocket placement and slimmer cuts for a more proportional look. Tall pants generally have high rises and longer inseams. "T" is commonly used in the size designation to denote a tall cut, thus a MT is a medium shirt with taller proportions. There are some Tall clothes that are also designated as Big, to indicate that they also have extra girth around the middle, in addition to being proportioned for a taller guy.

Continue Reading

0
0
0
s2smodern

Gary and Danielle's Wedding Ceremony

Photo by Karla Van HornOn May 9, 2015, I performed this ceremony to wed Gary Zapparelli and Danielle Martinez at Camp Bartlett in Santa Paula, CA.  I am a Humanist Officiant who is ordained to perform wedding ceremonies by the Universal Life Church. I am generally not for hire and only perform ceremonies for friends.  I have performed four weddings and always write and assemble the ceremonies myself. 
 
I'd like to welcome you all here today to celebrate the marriage of these two beautiful people Gary Zapparelli and Danielle Martinez.
 
It's my honor and privilege to marry these two today, in this beautiful place, Camp Bartlett. Thank you to the Zapparellis for hosting us here. Danielle is stunning in her beautiful dress and Gary even shaved his neck beard for this. You know it is an important day.
 
I met Gary right before he turned 21, at a place, I'll be honest, he probably shouldn't have been when he was not yet 21, but he's always seemed a little older than his age. What I mean by that is he's always known who he is, what he likes, what he's into. He likes those things without apology or remark. Most guy in their 20s usually take a few years to figure that stuff out and their motivation usually influenced by who they are trying to emulate or impress.Gary has always been self-possessed. It's a good quality for a guy, particular a young guy in this day and age. He's always knew when girls weren't right for him, always focused on his work. Didn't need to party to prove anything. He's already got the word "Senior" right in his job title and has his priorities straight. I gotta admit sometimes I don't get to see Gary as much as I like but I realize that's because he's got important stuff going on, or he's watching Adventure Time, either way, he's doing what he wants to be doing and I respect that.

Continue Reading

0
0
0
s2smodern

To My Friends Who Call for Peace

As riots took hold of Baltimore on last week, my initial reaction, I assume like most people, was to first be shocked by the apparent senselessness of violence, to be appalled by images of students throwing rocks, police car windows being smashed, of burning buildings, and of riotous crowds with black faces walled off by police in riot gear. It is sad that this has become a common response to a tragically predictable cause, however it is no less upsetting to see. My knee-jerk reaction is to question the motives of such violence and to wish, as one does, for peaceful demonstrations. I think most people come to this conclusion: violence is not the solution, it solves nothing and destroys the rioters own community, hurts people and businesses who have nothing to do with the problem at hand and is perpetrated by opportunistic people who have no stake in the greater issue at hand. I certainly appreciate that perspective but I think it is what I called it: knee-jerk. It lacks critical understanding about the issues at play and ignores a bigger problem created by just calling for peace: peace serves the side of the issue most vested in the status quo.

Continue Reading

0
0
0
s2smodern

What I Wish Managers Knew About Being A Jack-Of-All-Trades

Photo Credit: Matthew Stumphy at gurustump.com
Being a Jack-of-All-Trades can be tough when most jobs have very narrowly defined descriptions. Here's a list of things to consider when considering a versatile employee.
 
Last night, I watched the young adult sci-fi flick Divergent, set in a future where citizens in a post-apocalyptic society are separated into five factions depending on their nature and talents. These factions are charged with fulfilling a specific need of that society, such as food production, public service, defense, or science, etc. Divergents were those who don't fit neatly into these factions because they display the talents and abilities of several factions and are thus hunted because they mess with the program. Like much young adult post-apocalyptic fare, it's a grossly oversimplified allegory for growing up and finding a calling while preserving some amount of one's youthful spirit in the process. I watched this at 1 a.m. on a Monday morning because I am unemployed and have nothing to do on Monday proper except laundry and mining LinkedIn for job postings. I have been job hunting in earnest for six months and yet nothing with any sort of potential has panned out. To be fair, there are lots of factors at play: it's a tough economy, granted; and year-end is hardly the best time to ask someone to take me on, surely; and, familial obligations require I find a job with a certain level of compensation or else I am worth more to my family uncommitted, and yet there is one more thing complicating this already difficult situation.

Continue Reading

0
0
0
s2smodern

Holiday Sing-A-Long at the Ventura Theater

Holiday Sing-A-Long Flyer

On Sunday, December 14, I will be performing as the narrator of the Holiday Sing-A-Long at the Ventura Theater. This show will feature performances of holiday classics and Disney favorites featuring familiar faces from Ventura's local music scene including Aaron Orbit, Robin Ryder, Shane Mack, Marcella Tambouris, Shane Nautu, Nicole Jackson, and many others, all curated and produced by Loanne Wullaert, who owns the Ventura Theater.  Loanne, a classically trained opera singer, who will also be performing, has been producing these events the last two years as a way to feature local talent and to support local charities. This event will support Toys-4-Tots and admission is free with the donation of an unwrapped toy. It's a matinee show that starts at 3pm. For the record, I'm singing a New Orleans Jazz version of Frosty the Snowman. AND its my birthday, so be there!

 
0
0
0
s2smodern

There's No Time To Explain #0: Can Brian Pull This Off?

TNTTEep0image
Brian lines up all the technical feats he might encounter to make sure he can record his podcast.  He calls Ross Blocher of the Oh No Ross and Carrie podcast to make sure he can take calls. Ross talks about his podcast and working for Disney Animation and gives a sneak peak of Moana, due out in 2016.  Then Brian utterly fails to connect Debee Bracho to Ross over Skype, but gets the lowdown on living in the San Gabriel Mountian and seeing mountian lions.  Then as Monica Ocheltree sits down in the Parra Events Studio (aka: his garage) Brian outs Debee about dancing in Grease and then chats with Monica about being a mom on Halloween.  The kids jam on drums.
 

 
0
0
0
s2smodern

New Podcast Launching Soon!

I'm launching a podcast soon called There's No Time To Explain.  It will be a weekly conversation between interesting and unique artists, musicans, creative types and others who have interesting perspectives on life. There will be music and provocative discussions as each episode we tacke a question posed by me to my guests.  It will be a little bit of everything and will definetly get weird.  Please stay tuned to this site, more will be posted soon.
 
 
0
0
0
s2smodern

My Name is Brian Parra.

brianTIE

Thank you for visiting my website. I'm an administration and information technology professional and educator with a background in professional audio, event planning, living in Ventura County, California.  I'm available for hire for event production, live audio, talent booking, DJ/MC and Karaoke services, technical consulting, writing and teaching. I have a unique professional background spanning the humanities, education, office admin, technical disciplines, event production, and music. I've had a lifetime curiosity about how things work together.

I also like to sing, host karaoke, organize events and I serve on the board of directors for Camp Quest West, a summer camp for kids of humanist, atheist, and non-religious families. I am the Program Director for the Southern California camp. I'm handy with tools and like to build and fix things. I like to cook, expecially outdoor cooking.

If you think a guy like me can help you, please do not hesitate to contact me, I'd love to talk to you about your needs.  I've built this site to acts as half resume, half business site and half podcast home.  I know that's three halfs.

 

0
0
0
s2smodern

Brian Parra returns to the music scene — and the timing couldn’t be better

Ventura County Reporter
 
In the early part of the decade, the local music scene was riding high. From dive bars to all-ages venues and everything in between, Ventura was a boom town.
Then in 2007, the bottom dropped out. A perfect storm of venue closures, band break-ups, recession and a cultural shift away from live music left the scene devastated.
 

Continue Reading

0
0
0
s2smodern