12 Reasons Why Losing the Electoral College is Good for Trump

Donals-Trump-SpeechDear Donald Trump,
 
You got yourself elected President, fair and square. I'm not a fan of yours, but I have to give you the props you deserve; you surprised the hell out of me. I know it bothers you that you lost the popular vote, but there are reasons as old as our democracy why the popular vote isn't used to elect the president. No one who matters questions the legitimacy of your win. In the end, you did what you set out to do: win the election for the Presidency of the United States of America. 
 
On December 19th, the Electoral College convenes to weigh in, and there are whispers of faithless Republican electors, organizing under the name The Hamilton Electors, who hope to cooperate with Hillary's electors to deny you the presidency. I'm sure this angers you greatly, but before you tap up a tweet storm about it, hear me out. I think being denied the presidency by the Electoral College might actually be in your self-interest:

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Assuming the Collar-ary based on the Average.

Jim writes:

One of my problems is I have a GIANT neck compared to the rest of my body. I have 19 1/2" neck, but my body is much smaller. When I buy a 19ish shirt, the body is like a nightgown. My weight fluctuates quite a bit, 230-255, and custom shirts are expensive and hard to get a great fit. Any tips?

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It's Time to Require Birth Certificates and Tax Disclosures to Run for President

donald-trump-vs-barack-obama-1000x600Dear Lawmakers in Congress and the State Legislatures,
 
It's time to pass a bill called "The Presidential Eligibility and Transparency Act." It would require the submission of a valid US Birth Certificate and the disclosure of Federal Tax Returns upon submitting Federal Election Commission Form 2- Statement of Candidacy for all persons who wish to have their name listed on each state's ballot to be elected President of the United States, effective for the 2020 election. It's important that we verify that the people running for President are qualified and free from conflicts of interest that would prevent them from serving in good faith. This measure will not change the eligibility requirements as outlined in Article 2, Section 1 of the U.S. Constitution.

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The Christmas Challenge-Donate to Non-Profits in Lieu of Gifts

Brian Parra is a Dork
Dear Friends and Family,
 
I'd like to encourage you to consider making a donation to your favorite non-profit organization this season in lieu of buying me a Christmas or birthday present. I am very fortunate already, and I've obviously been very caught up in the new political reality as of late. I've been thinking about what power an individual has to make a difference between votes and I recall my uncle Robert Sanchez, whom I admire very much, making this request of his family a few years ago. Collectively, you guys will probably drop a couple hundred bucks on me this year, and if I could direct that energy to do good in the world, we'd accomplish more together than if I had a few more sweater vests.

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There is more than one way to be big.

NickDirty Writes:
 
I'm a 6'3" guy and built. My chest and shoulders fit a 46" jacket, but my waist is 34". I'm going to have to have a suit custom made, for sure.
I'd like to stand out a bit, be bold, but still look classic. Can I pull off a pinstripe with as tall as I am? I've read that pinstripes don't work for tall guys because it appears to lengthen you and make you look lanky. However, I'm not a small guy. Would pinstripes work in my situation?
 
I'd like to have a suit for general purpose, I've read that charcoal is a good way to go, but if I'm spending $800-$1500 to get a custom suit, do you think I should go with black so that I can wear it to funerals and formal events? I'm not sure if/when I'll have the occasion to get another suit. If I try to go with the pinstripes, will that take away from the versatility of the suit? If it's a subtle pinstriping like in the picture I sent to you can I still wear it to a funeral or is that a faux pas?
 
I'm going to talk to a tailor sometime soon, but I'm the type to do some initial research. Thanks for your time!

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How I'm gonna vote (Which I don't imagine is interesting to anyone.)

reese-witherspoon-as-tracy-flickListen, I'm just some dude you don't even know. I'm not renown for anything besides writing an article about Big & Tall fashion that was once cited as source material for the much more popular Wikihow entry on the same topic. I follow more people on Twitter than follow me back. But I have been known to offer up my unsolicited opinions on this blog and produce a podcast that's mostly about what people think and why (that I haven't updated in three months because I've been weary as shit while trying to manage my horde of children and getting more sleep). I figure if I'm going to go through all the effort of maintaining the semblance of a public profile for ZERO benefit, the least I can do is share my opinions on the upcoming election:

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Well Suited for Work

Rick writes:
In the photo, I think my 3 button suit is ill-fitting, e.g. too tight, perhaps out of style? It was in bright sunlight so my shirt and tie appear washed out. I think the suit jacket is a 43L. In the next photo, I think the 2 button suit, at size 44L is much better looking in general especially when buttoned. I tend to carry my extra weight through my mid-section, and my shoulders and chest and legs are relatively slender. I am 5 foot 11 in, 205lbs, which is probably 15 lbs over where I look my best. Any ideas for colors? I tend to go for dark suits, light blue and white shirts and conservative ties. The more I weigh, the less I feel comfortable and confident in my suits, but maybe that is because they have gotten too tight. Your candid thoughts much appreciated-thanks!
 
First, I want to say that your selections look great. It's obvious that you've got a look you prefer and I suspect that your work environment probably dictates a lot of your choices in this matter. If you feel like you are presenting yourself in a way that makes you feel prepared for your day, you are doing a great job at it. Regarding putting together an outfit, a dark suit with a white or light blue shirt is pretty hard to mess up, so if you like that look, stick with it. I was delighted to see that light blue tie has a whimsical animal print, maybe dinosaurs? That's a perfect way to lighten up a suit. A current trend among men who need to keep the decorum of a dark suit is outrageously colored and patterned socks. If you wanted to add a surprise of color, try this out, but as a rule, I'm opposed to gimmicky touches for the sake of novelty. I don't assume clothes need to say anything as long as they are well matched and allow you to conduct business without drawing undue attention; they are doing their job so you can do yours.

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Modernize Your Look By Putting a New Spin on the Old. (And don't wear sweats out of the house)

Anonymous writes:
I basically need help to modernize and update the clothes I have. I ideally would like to dress in a modern casual style, so could you give me some suggestions and examples that would fit for my body type? I wear a 36-38 waist, 34 length, shirts are typically XL or Double XL
 
I'm usually addressing someone who is having a problem dressing and getting a good fit, so it's nice just to talk about fashion in general. At 6'2" and 220, I don't know that I would consider you in the Big & Tall realm, but as an exercise, you might find a proper Big & Tall store and try on some pants and shirts to see if you like how "tall" clothes fit you compared to the clothes you find in regular stores. Clothes with a Tall designation are cut for people 6' and taller so you may discover that Tall pants, which have a longer rise fit you better and that Tall shirts, which tend to have longer sleeves, lower chest pockets, and longer shirt tails for tucking in, more suited to your body type. To your eye, the clothes may not look different but may fit you better when they are on you. Typically, Big & Tall stores will carry garments starting at Medium Tall, so you should find plenty of selection for your build. Be aware however that clothes from these type of stores tend to be more expensive. I do a lot of my shopping at discount stores like Burlington Coat Factory then fill in what I need from retail stores like JC Penneys, then, if I need something specific that I can't find at one of those two places, I head into a Big & Tall. This bottom-up approach saves me money, and I make sure the nice clothes I do have, I take care of by hanging them on hangers right and cleaning things according to the instructions.

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There's No Time To Explain #28: Jesse Armitage


jessearmitageVentura is a very small town, and sometimes you meet people whom you realize you have a ton of connections with and such is the case of Jesse Armitage. Jesse is the Educational Director of The Ventura Improv Company, which is hosting the Ventura Improv Festival this weekend. We know like a million of the same people and yet, have never spoken before the conversation presented here.  We talk about improv and comedy and how they have influenced each other. I reminisce about the Livery Theater back in the day and Jesse admits to finding all sorts of evidence of the punk rock shows we did there.  I reexamine an embarrassing incident that turned me off to improv in college and Jesse tries to fire me from a job screwing wooden handles into plungers. I neglect to warn everyone about the suicide triggers contained herein. Our conversation starts at 8:10. I rant about Ted losing faith in the tooth fairy.
 
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There's No Time To Explain #27: Sarah Alvarado


SarahAlvaradoI have a conversation with photographer and long time friend, Sarah Alvarado. She's a graduate of Brooks Institute, which recently shuttered its campus in Ventura and had been shooting the devastating Blue Cut Fire in the High Desert, so I thought it would be an opportune time to check in with her to pick her brain about current events.  We talk about her chosen profession and how she deals emotionally with the stress of the job and encountering people on the worst day of their lives.  We chat about old times, Jack and Cokes, and she refers to me in the third person at least twice. We reminisce about the impact of "Brookies" on the Ventura music scene. I marvel at Sarah's need for adrenaline, and she admits to turning into a cranky old lady yelling at kids to get off her lawn.  I, once again, sing the praises of Periscope.  Our conversation starts at 17:07. I rant about Rush Limbaugh, The Dead Milkmen, and what the Queers are doing to the soil.
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